What I wish I had done better

What I wish I had done better

My four years are actually over. After all of that complaining about tests, papers, and stress I sit here actually dreading the fact that my office won't let me sleep in until 11. I guess now that I'm done I feel like I should make sure others are aware of some of the things that I wish I had done while at Duke.

5. Kept in touch with the friends I made during my freshmen year

Remember freshmen year? It seemed like everyone was friends and it wasn't based (as much) on who you knew or where you belonged in the Duke social strata but more on being at the same place during such a great time in life. A simple phone call or occasional lunch date really isn't much effort but for some reason as the years went on the people in my freshmen dorm turned into one of those really awkward "do I say hi or not" situations

4. Spent more of Duke's money

Yea we pay a shitload for tuition but Duke will actually (pretty easily too) pay for you to do almost anything if you pitch it to the right people. More Duke conversation dinners, more parties on the quad, I should have done another abroad experience in a non-European country (I'm not saying don't go to Europe, it's great but people need to get out of what's comfortable and do something totally new even if it's just 6 weeks). It wasn't until my senior year that I realized Duke will give you thousands of dollars if you do something that could benefit the Duke community or your Duke experience.

3. Focused more on myself than on Duke boys

Seriously, I spent more effort my freshmen and sophomore year trying to get a guys attention then focusing on how I needed to grow, what weaknesses I needed to work on, what I love doing, what I hate doing, just figuring out who the hell I am as a person. Why is it that so many girls (myself included) spend most of our time talking about guys, talking about how to get a guy, what to do so that they'll like us, what we need to change so he'll actually be a boyfriend and not a boy_friend, etc. It's funny how the moment I started to concentrate more on me and building up my own confidence that I actually gained some respect and attention from guys. So here's my tip on how to get a guy: know who you are and be confident (easier said than done, I know).

2. Stopped assuming that I knew what people were "really" like

I really wish I hadn't done this so often. I'm not sure why but the more time I spent at Duke the more I felt like I could categorize people and knew exactly how a person would act, like/dislike, or do before I even met them. I think this really limited me from meeting really amazing people. By the time I figured out how judgmental I was being, senior year was basically over. Find out what makes a person unique and how you can connect with them even if its only on one level. Music, art, passion for history or travel, foreign languages, the list can go on.


1. Actually understood that when a guy says "just friends" he means it

Not sure if it's the way we process things or just the way that women tend to be loving, nurturing beings but when a guy says "yea I mean let's be friends" but still calls you to spend the night, girls interpret it as "he's mine". NO. This was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn at Duke but it was better to learn it in college then when I'm older. Anyone seen that Sex and the City episode where all the girls try to have sex like a man? Yea we can't really do it, I truly believe there's a scientific reason but we get attached in some sort of way (or we lie to ourselves constantly trying to pretend like we don't care). Either way, it needs to stop. Women, stop chasing after guys all the time and let them come to you every once in a while. I constantly see a guy (who's not even that amazing to be honest) messing with multiple girls while I see beautiful and talented women constantly complaining about the lack of a man in her life. What's the deal?